Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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