Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
