Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
He better not be in your backpack
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I just want to make out with him forever
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
