no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
