you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
