For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
