So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
