Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
