Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Randomize
