Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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