Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
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