As long as you're not dating white guys again.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
