I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Randomize
