great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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