let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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