I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
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