i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Randomize
