So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Randomize
