there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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