the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
