plz talk dirty to me
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
