I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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