Fine. I'll sleep in my office
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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