dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
