hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize