Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
