I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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