So drunk its hurt
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
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