chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Still dying that you shit outside
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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