**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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