im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
