Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
