After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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