So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
