I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
i want to swaddle you in tequila
where are you?
Hypothermia
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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