Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Terrible idea I love it
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
