it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
