her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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