we have pet lesbian snakes
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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