Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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