I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
