he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
You left your phone here
Wait...
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