i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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