tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
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