I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
