with your own penis?
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Randomize
