i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I believe in your delicious
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
