I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
