Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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