how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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