Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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