that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
