I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
