Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize