pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
