Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
