is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
