if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
How does one acquire holy water?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
