let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
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